It hasn't felt like two years. Maybe a few months. I guess for updates:
We followed through with the IVF June of 2015. I ended up having 26 eggs retrieved! Great, right? Welp, none fertilized the following day so we did emergency ICSI. Only one embryo made it to transfer, which, was the day after my birthday. Such a punch in the gut. I went through my TWW and spotted almost the entire time. Turns out, the progesterone suppositories were irritating my cervix causing the bleeding. At the end of the TWW I got a BFN. A BFN and a BFLoan!
So we've focused our energy on us and moving forward. Next on our list was getting into a house. So we spent the next year (2016) getting our credit awesome, paying down the extras, and house hunting!! June rolls around again and we just weren't happy with any of the houses we checked, which led us to contact a BUILDER!! We got to pick out every detail of our house and couldn't have been happier. Everything was finished in October and we spent the two major holidays of the year in our new house.
Cut to six months later and here we are.
And still another year away from trying IVF again. It was definitely a learning experience, albeit, an expensive one. We will do ICSI from the start and freeze half the eggs. And, AND!!!! when we do IVF next year, our credit will be shiny! So shiny, in fact, that we will get a bomb-ass APR when we finance it.
I'm not going to lie though, everyday is still up and down. There are super dark days that I just feel so useless and immobilized but I have to remind myself to just keep moving forward. Even when I don't want to. Even when I don't believe I can. Then I recover, days feel better, colors brighter. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
But I'm still here, still going, and still praying.
Baby dust y'all!
