Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Hump Day

I remember signing up for classes was as easy as logging in to my online account. Now it's just a pain in my butt. I'm so ready to be done with school and in my forever job *sigh* but so blessed to have the opportunity to be where I am.

I'm just counting away the days to May when we go to the clinic. It shouldn't be so hard to become a mother. I used to joke that I wanted an army of children to take over the world but now I really would give anything to have just one. I see friends and acquaintances from high school getting pregnant left and right, saying there's something in the water. I must be drinking from a bottle... 😆

I watched a documentary on veganism the other day and I'm thinking maybe it could be a great lifestyle change by DH thinks I'm nuts now. Sooooo maybe not. Probably not good for a healthy pregnancy anyway.

5 more months!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Dreams, Depression, and Downsides

Let me start by expressing my apologies. I know, I know, I haven't posted in forever. I've been sick, I got let go from my job, (place more excuses here). Everything seems to get in the way and it's hard to find "me" time. That's what I've decided this is, my expression, my stress free zone, Mine.

I've been having these dreams the last two months, of being pregnant/giving birth, and at all different stages. I've seen my children (yes, plural) in my dreams. A boy and a girl, twins no less. My mother believes that if you see your child in your dream it's God's way of showing whats to come. As much as I'd love to accept that as truth, I think it's more likely my subconscious projecting what I want.

Right now, that's hard to deal with. Waking up from vivid dreams of children and knowing that I'm infertile and it's going to be this way for a while.

I'm trying to focus on the positive though. We'll have our house in January. DH and I finally decided on a date to talk to the infertility clinic as well. Our only option is IVF so we're going to a clinic in Austin in May that provides the Natural Cycle.

If anyone has any stories or advice on their own Natural Cycle IVF good or bad I'd love to hear it.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

This Last Month...

This last month has gone by so fast.

We've had my step-kids for the last 47 days and they've gone back to the middle of no-where to their psycho mother.

It never feels like enough time and I miss having them around already.

4th of July kind of struck a chord on me. My hubby's son (also the oldest at 13) had all the younger boys in the neighborhood following him around chunking m-80's in the street. Later he told hubby and my sis-in-law how he would love to have a little brother since he only has little sisters.  :(

On a brighter note, Hubby is in the union and just got insurance, which covers infertility treatments!!!! YEAH!!!

Sooo... I'm looking for houses and trying to get us the little boost we need to start dropping money on my belly getting huge. MrBoomer has procrastination problems so it's kinda all on me. No worries though, I don't really mind.

I'm toying with the idea of vlogging while I go through the whole IVF process from consultation until I poop a baby out. I might have to travel about 3 hours to get to a clinic though because I haven't found a Natural Cycle IVF offered here in Houston, but I LOVE Austin anyway and have friends out there who support us.

Cross your fingers for this house hunting lady.


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Just an Intro of Myself

Hi I'm MrsBoomer and I'm infertile.

We've been trying to have a baby since 2011. That year we did conceive but found out in the ER that it was an ectopic pregnancy and I lost a fallopian tube. I lost my other fallopian tube just last year in another EP. 

So I'm here.

I've been reading so many blogs and seeing this great community of people that are so uplifting and I believe I'm ready to share my journey with others. 

I can literally hear my biological clock just ticking away. Every menstral cycle feels like another egg wasted and I'm only getting older. Sounds depressing and for the most part it really is but I have my husband and he really makes everything more optimistic.

When I was 16 I had gotten pregnant. Though I knew I was an idiot and life would be a million times more difficult I couldn't help but feel... Excited, but mostly scared shitless. Alas twas not meant to be. At 3 months I miscarried. Nothing really prepares you for that. I had no support from anyone, not even my mother or sister(who already had two of her own).

The worst part of it all: I told only a few what happened but the responses I got were the worst thing you could tell someone in that kind of situation;
maybe it was for the best?
oh god....
Maybe a child's death is for the best? I'm sorry but eff that. How could anyone find it okay to say that to someone who JUST lost their baby? NOT okay, regardless of age.

Well, I'm older and I've gone through all the sad/angry/denial of losing what I felt made me a woman. We're getting ready to start looking at our options.

We have been doing some research on the Natural Cycle IVF and we will look into it as soon as we're settled into our new place which is about 6 months away. I haven't really come across any blogs of women trying this option so if anyone has done it and has something they'd like to share with me I would love the input.